لقد فاتني أن أكون نبياً.

You know that moment, when you get to a point of a nervous break down and you just want to  smash the wall or break trophies like Isaac from the fault in our stars , you wish you have the do-over card like Dnile wished before you ( charcter from a novel by Nicola Yoon , the sun is also a star)
 . You hate the world .

You hate yourself for being yourself .

You hate your parents for being you parents .

You just simply want everything to be nothing, as if nothing happened. But a lot happened, and you will never be the same again, everything in your life will change while you are standing still, doing nothing because you cant do anything even if you wanted to .

 Yes, this is life, full of unfairness and sadness and every other adjective you know the reflects  the huge amount of pain you feel, the feel of heavyhearted you get, the down in mouth you get .

and it wont leave .

It wont let you go .

 In that moment I realized that I am fated to be forlorn .